Next Monday, my new class on Mindful Negotiation starts and the questions that have come in over the past week have been fun to answer. So for the benefit of the group, let me explain further this Mindful Negotiation concept that completely fascinates me. Rest assured, I have not jumped on some crazy woo-woo train. This just makes sense!
Since I stated Take Charge Negotiations, the feedback that I have received from women is nearly universal:
"I hate negotiating; I'm not good at fighting."
"I forget what I wanted to say once I start the negotiation because I get flustered."
"I'm not taken seriously in negotiations and I can't tell if it's because of how I act or on account of my race, gender or age."
Difficult people, discrimination and emotions are real things that I am not trying to diminish. But carrying these things with you, when they weigh on you in a negative way - as if they are part of you, is not helping anyone.*
If there are any lessons I have learned in this life, the fact that you cannot change other people or how they see you is at the top. And I think this is a crucial part of negotiation... other people may approach the conversation combatively, with bad intentions or with conscious biases against you. It is not your job to change them; that's their problem.* Being mindful about this in the negotiation context means letting it go and focusing on positive strategies that will help you to succeed.
This is where the Mindful Negotiation idea came to me. A positive and proactive approach to negotiation that encourages the ability to get out of your head... to learn from past experiences, but then let them go. And to utilize a system that helps you do that.
Let's start with some basic definitions:
Mindfulness: This is the practice of staying in the moment you are presently living in. Not the moment that happened last year, or the one that might occur in 20 minutes. It is living NOW.
Negotiation: The practice of conversing with others in a collaborative manner in order to derive some mutual benefit.
Mindful Negotiation: The practice of negotiation while staying present and focused.
Still with me?
Great! I created the Mindful Negotiation course to teach others how to develop a system that allows you to approach negotiations in a practical and proactive way, to stay centered and communicate with confidence during negotiations, and to provide strategies for disarming difficult negotiators.
The class is divided into three separate segments. All materials are pre-recorded so you can do them at a time that's convenient for you and your time zone. Each class includes multi-media presentations, quizzes, homework and the ability to discuss the materials with me and other students. The weekly time commitment for you is at least one hour.
Negotiation is part of our daily lives - whether it is in conversation with your business partners, investors, employees, or on behalf of clients. Seeing it as an opportunity and not a headache will help you to achieve better outcomes.
For more information and to register for the class, please click here.
* I am compelled to remind you that this is not legal advice and anyone who is experiencing discrimination may well need to consult an attorney for guidance.